PRO-LOG That afternoon a few weeks ago was a purty one an I wuz out lookin fer garage sales an jus mindin muh own bidness. I did not expect ta see what i seen in fronta me as I come up to the innersection. But shore 'nuff it was Lucifer hisself, beggin' like a freshman after th' prom an havin about as much luck. Watch this video over here, an yer gonna see how Lucifer come back inta muh life. Now a course, I put the original aukshun down below here, so y'all kin read the questions an answers from last time. Make sure ya do, 'cuz there's some seriously good stuff there. Now if'n ya visit muh About Me page, you'll find all sortsa good stuff there as well as links to the DEPARTMINT OF GHOSTOLOGY tee-shirts what I got fer sale.

These are the Muffins that trudy had made the night before I kicked her out. They normally dont look like this until they have sat for a month in the windasill. Satan can really destroy baked goods quick!

I put this hotpocket in this bag in the icebox so it wouldnt rot. It was smellin real funny just after I opened it and I didnt want it to ruin anymore food. THeres some crawdads in there that are probably going bad too.	Now when i took this outta the freezer bag, I put on a welding glove. It didnt look to hot to touch but I thought I might oughta be careful. I dont want my hands to end up lookin like them muffins.

Heres a closup of the hot pocket. I dont think the lord of darkness is much of an artist. Matter of fact it kinda looks like he drew boogers coming out of his nose, and his horns aint even straight or nothin. I mean there's all sorts of liberal commie artists in hell, why the heck didnt he get one of them to do it and do it right? Satan really does suck. He ruint this meal for me and them muffins too. Ellie pierce down the street said that I was lucky he hadn't had the well run dry or kilt my dog or something. I said Yep- but i think he's plannin on makin a break from the icebox and getting into the chickencoop.

I took this to the local community colledge and a professor there told me that the writing on the bottom here looked like somethiin called RUNES. I guess its an old kind of writing. He said he didnt know for sure what it said but it could be a curse or directions or something. I think is says that Trudy is a skank. NOW IF YA AINT GONNA BUY IT, DONT BID!

Past questions-
Q: Boy, you shur hav a purdy mouth! Same sex marrages arnt legl here in albama, but ifn they wer, Id upn mary you. A: Well Shi-Tsu! Y'all is purdy damn purdy y'sef- Im thinkin of switchin sides! Is thet a banjo I hear? Q: Im debating on bidding on this fantastic item, but before I do can I expect Mr. Satan to talk to me? Im a lonely lady and Im looking for some company..Even if it's in the form of a hotpocket :) A: DEAR HBF- In the las few weeks of havin' Satan aroun' th house, I have come to the contusion that Satan is fun ta go to Bars with, but the guy cannot have a serious discussion about anythin'. I mean it's always "that guys goin to hell,and that guy, an that girl an ever politician and look at THAT rack". I do find that He talks to me much more when I've gotten through a bottle or two. Now I caint imagin a lovely lady like yerself havin' trouble findin a man to talk to her, but it takes two to talk and then two (or sometimes three) to tango. Start that kisser a workin and you'll be on the frontage road to StudVille in no time. Love- Aunt Leroy PS BID HIGH! PPS Shi-Tsu! Q: Now that Trudy's out of the way, Will you marry me? I love your sense of humor. Your killing me, I watch the video everyday, and laugh more each time, can't wait for the next...is there going to be another video before auction end? Love the last one the best, you and Lucifer snuggling together under a warm fleece blanketo. Gotta love it! Shi-Tsu!! A: I am currently searching for a bride and I am always happy to look at yur dowry. If'n youd like to send me pictures of yur dowry, I would surely apprecify it. Some folks say that complements are the best afrodeziak and after yer letter I am afrodeziakified. This auction wont have more videos, but I will be doin more auctions in the very near future and I hope to see alla mah new friends agin real soon. (an dont fergit that picture of yer dowry!) Q: If i fed this Hot Pocket to my cat.....would my cat explode? A: They's better ways to make a cat explode. I would suggest ordnance of some kind just because the blowin' up is that much more impressive. Now why would anybody want to clone a cat? Clone a dead cat! Now that's useful! Q: Before I bid on this item, I have to know what flavor it is. Is it a regular Hot Pocket or a Lean Pocket? I am hoping it is either Meatball or my favorite, Chicken Fajita. A: I am chagrinified as this hotpocket is a pepperoni and NOT Lite and does not comport the lustful intrigue of a chikin fajita sammich or the simple blandness of th' self-aktulized meatball. I hope you will find this suitable for your King of Pestilence needs. Now just a note from my experience earlier tonight- do NOT mix WIne coolers and model airplane dope, because it will give ya th' trots like crazy. Q: Howdy. I gots one'a them ere nu-Clear power plants down'a street from me. You think if'n we drop that there hot-ppocket int'a the re-acter, it would drive Satan back't the bowels of hell from whence he came? Just a thawt. Mahap we could rid ebay and hot pockest all over the world of evil alltogether. You know how like in'da alien movies if ya kill the leader they all quit fitin' or die? mayhap you gots yerself the queen, er king of all evil hot-pockets. We'uz could be FAMUS ta'gether! lemme no wutcha think, o yea, and keep'it a secret! SSSHHH!! A: I have hoped and prayed fur a pardner agin evil and you my freind may be just such a hero. Now keep in mind thet if'n we kill all evil in the world, that all democrats will disappear and Michael Moore will disolve in a big puddul of paste and poop. Likewise Katie Couric will explodify as her king of all evil will be dead. Talk about a RAPTURE! TEEVEE will become a wonderland freed from the stranglehold of evil, and you will be able to breed dogs and cats an make magical aminuls that will help mankind and consume their own waste an be able to type. An beer will be FREE! In short, I am intreegd by your Philosophy and would like to subskribe to yuor newsletter. Plus if'n ya got a sister, I'd be much obliged as I need a date for the next Kiwanis Klub Mixer. Q: Well, Im sure you will get some outrageous amount for this so may I suggest you go back to school and maybe learn how to spell? I think my favorite is "colledge" Yikes! Oh, and if you do decide to go back to school, I wouldnt bother with any art classes if I were you. You are sure to fail... A: Well boy howdy, missy, you got yerself a mouth, don't cha? Now y'aint gonna never attract a man when ya run yer trap like that and keep that many cats. Ya gotta start liking yersef afore other folks'll like you an runnin a razor over them legs caint hurt neither. Now my drawin skills are purty good I wish I could show ya drawin I did of Elvis touchin the hand of the arkangel. My landlord Rita said it was "aw inspirin" and it made her beleive that HE was still alive. I knowed that anyway, cuz I asked a GHOSTOLOGIST if HE was an he said Yep, he's got a place in Skokie and works as an Orkin Man. Happy New YEar an best of luck! Q: Hi, I'm a Biomalogical Scientist from a place in the southern UK Called Slap Bottom (Its in the New Forest) Anyhoos, Will You be able to offer safe International shipping for this Item? I would hate for the evil to spread into some poor cargo aircraft. Perhaps if it was placed in a lead line titanium coated box? A: Mah dream has been to meet both a GHOSTOLOGIST and a BIOMALOGICAL SCIENTIFERATOR and this week it has come true. Now I know for a fact that most stewardesses have no soul, and the pilots sit in the front, so there's no way evil can git up there, an baggage handlers are a satan's little helpers so nobody would git hurt. I spose I could put some more duct tape on it... If'n you got a book, could y'all send it to me on 8-track? Oh and G'Day Mate! Q: Hi, First off I would like to say I feel quite bad that the hoe wife of yours did what she did to you, that is heart wrenching at best. Second I would like to say the writing looks to be Theban. If it was either of the writing Theban or Runes it wouldnt make sense because all of us who follow the Old Religion Do Not Believe in the devil. Well I think when you found out about your hoe wife cheating it caused a tramatic episode and maybe you need a shrink and heavy duty meds at best. Either way I hope you get through it ok because it sounds as though you need alot of both!!! Blessed Be to you and may you get the help you need!!! A: From th' bottom of mah heart I thank you for your godless support and trust that when th' Kool-aid is handed out, you're prolly gonna be at the head of the line. Shi-Tsu!!!! ( try the veal picatta ) Q: If'n I place that there demon in my pocket, willst I be able to do a few "fellow knees" an' git away wit it? A: Prolly depends if they are large or wee. Thet's Illegeal in most states, which automatically makes me innerestid. Now it also depends if you own your soul free an clear or if the govmint has a lein placed on it. Q: I can see from the Video's that you are a fine upstanding, sane and sensible member of the community and have been unaffected by this piece of evil. Being the goody twoshoes I am I was wondering if I bought it, could I maybe get some of the evil to rub off on me. If ya'll know what I mean. A: With all due respekt, sir, what you do with baked goods in yer own trailer is up to you, and i am most unwillin' to cast aspershuns. I am reasonably sure Lucifer's HotPocket has rubbed off'n many and no doubt has done so many times in th' tool shed out back. Q: Looking at your auction makes me say "Yo quero Taco Bell", drool and my tummy growls!! This auction is very evil I tell ya! It's making me hungry and I'm on a diet trying to lose some weight. Thanks alot!! A: Well duh... IT'S EVIL!!!! You will now crave mono-unsaturated fats and carageenan, too. Plus you may start to crave Shi-Tsu meat or pureed lowland Gorilla! Now qwitcher whinin' an Bid!!! Q: I have some coupons for hotpockets, will you honor these if I am the winning bidder to reduce the final price? What was the name of the poor citter that got dropped in the thresher? Was it a shi-tsu? Aren't shi-Tsus the other white meat? SHI-TSU!!! I like saying it too. SHI-TSU!! SHI-TSU!! A: I do b'bleive it was a shi-tsu and I will honer all piggly wiggly coupons for hotpockets (limit one per purchase) Now here's anothrer word I like: MONKEY. Say it like twenny times and you cannot stop laffin! MONKEY!!! SHI-TSU!!!! Say 'em both and live on the wild side!!! C'mon everbody! Q: Is this Kosher? A: Most commershul meat products are made from pork and lowland gorilla puree, so Im guessin' this ain't Kosher either. My agent, Rabbi Barry Grossbaum's new book, UPTOWN GOY, talks about this and he even has writ whole chapter on hot pockets and multi-denominational pizza rolls. I do beleive shi-Tsus are Kosher. SHI-TSU!!!! Q: First Trudy, now the Hotpocket. Do you think you've become a "lightning rod" for horrific happenings? A: I only been called a "lightnin' Rod" oncet and that was when I wuz hit by lightnin, oh and when the dog got dropped in the thresher, and then when then well went black, but Im blamin' booze for everthing else. Anyway i only use that to get off'n the meth and model glue, and anything that ever happened with that tub of axel grease was NOT my fault. Q: Is your name Steve? A: Ifn my name was Steve, I'd be laffed right outta mah hometown. Mah given name is Leroy. Now y'all keep out a sharp eye for Leroy's Auctions in th' future. Q: No such word as Ghostology, And even if it were A word, A Tech College would not be teaching it?????? A: Now ifn you had an ejumacation, you'd know that ghostology is a science that is bein studied at the most important colledges in the world. The University Of Southern North Dakota has a world famus DEPARTMINT OF GHOSTOLOGY an' Harvard is seriously considerin offering an associate's degree in Ghostology. Also most well respected deisel colledges have a GHOSTOLOGY DEPARTMENT and study all things GHOSTOMOLOGICAL. I bet if'n ya try you might be able to study there and be a worl' famus GHOSTOLOGIST. Now I would like to say the word Shi-Tsu agin. SHI-TSU!!!! Q: Hey, this is your cousin cletus, you take back what you said about my sister Trudy! A: Now cleteus, remember she's a half-sister. Half your an' half mine! Q: The rise and fall of the modern colonial empires have changed dramati­cally the human geography of the planet. The 'expansion of Europe' which began in the late fifteenth century resulted in massive migrations, many of them forced. It led, sometimes intentionally sometimes not, to the dest of entire peoples…and mixed races, peoples who had been born and reared in colonies and whose futures, and sense of identity, were markedly divergent from those of either the European invaders or the societies of the Aboriginal populations. In its final phase it also created new states, and new political forms, or renewed and transformed versions of older political types, one of which - democ­ratic republicanism was to become the dominant ideology of the modern industrialized world. Colonialism also created the trade routes and lines of communication which have been responsible for a slow erosion of the ancient divisions, natural and cultural, between peoples. For those routes A: Nice essay, though don't forget colonial expansionism was also an outgrowth of religious ideologues and their rise to power through the catholic church which was important though notany more so than the fractionalization represented by Lutheranism. Q: Hello, we own the world`s largest collection of demonically possessed microwaveable foods and we are interested in your Hot Pocket. We only seek the most evil of foods. Using a 1 to 10 scale with 1 being Barry Manilow and 10 being the Devil on a flaming jet ski, how evil would you say this Hot Pocket is? (Note: we realize that some might think Barry Manilow is the ultimate form of evil but for this example consider him a 1) A: I would call this'n a 11 'cuz I just turned thet thang upnside down and shore enuf, if you squint your eyes jsut right you can see the image of barry manilow IN the picture of the devil, an if ya turn it sideways it looks like one of the goiters on trudy's grammas neck. Q: Have you ever considered stand-up comedy? My God! (or My Lord of Darkness! if you prefer) this is funny stuff! I'm unfortunately (for you) not interested in possessing the evil Hot Pocket, but best wishes and I hope it sells for an appropriately ridiculous amount! A: I wisht I was only I was funnin' and I am hopin to get enough money to drink only holy water the rest of my life, to rid my self of this dirty feelin. Well and a new bass boat, and a new tatoo on muh arm. An a Dodge Vipur that can talk! Q: Did you use A magic marker, A Bic pen or maybe A Crayon?? A: I am tol by colledge perfessors who teach ghostology courses at the Louis L'amore technical colledge here, that rezidjul ash from hellfire appears exactly like a sharpie pen. That is also how the master of lies marks his CD-rs. Q: If this HotPocket is microwaved, will the Lord of Darkness infiltrate the electro-magnetic field in my neighborhood and possess other's frozen foods,should I lock up my liquor cabinet if I decide to bid and win, and lastly does Lucifer prefer taking Chaser over other hangover remedy products prior to a bender? A: Now if'n you're talkin about a quantum mechanical kinda thing with microwaves, I would say that he prolly already has infiltrated your neighborhoods elektro-doohickey. #2 You should always lock your likker cabinet cuz chances are good I got a cousin in your neighborhood, and #C Satan prefers the hair of the dog. Specifically the hair of a spaniel or a Shi-tsu. ( I dont know fer sure about the last one but I like sayin' it.) Shi-TSU!! Them's funny lookin pooches! I also hear tell he likes an Abbazabba from time to time. Q: Does this Hot Pocket come with a certificate of Authenticity or at least the Patented rights to Lucifer's Evil? I need a belated Christmas gift for my Ex Wife and this would be the perfect gift. A: There is no certificate per se, but the troubling artwork on the front will serve as a seal or certificate of evil that few will fail to recognize. If your ex-wife fails to kneel before Satan as most demons will, then I would advise running very fast or bringing a tender yearling goat to sacrifice to her as she is likely senior daemon and VP of Operations, Legion. Happy Bidding... Q: This auction is a fraud. In every case of demonic Hot Pocket possession recorded by the Catholic Church it was always a ham and cheese pocket. Lucifer seemingly does not like pepperoni. A: I agree that nearly all previous Hot pocket possessions were ham and cheese, but I would cawshun you to remember that Satan is a wily, if tasty foe and will go where you least expect it next. For example I have heard of Satan inhabiting a kielbasa, and know for a fact of one other kielbasa that he has taken over to do his evil bidding. I hear tell of him also living in a small piece of Strudel. Q: I am so sorry to take your time, but I haven't been able to stop laughing since I saw your hot pocket video (you can thank the folks on the eBay Soapbox Discussion Board--you're famous, now!). A: Them soapboxers is alright, I tells ya. BTW AE... sorry bout the spam, las' month....... Q: BAAAAAAAAWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH This is too funny! Sorry I don't need anymore evil in my house then what is knocking at my door right now. Good luck with your auction!!! Merry Christmas! A: We are hoping to get rid of the influence of evil around here, too. My cousin Jimmy's wife brought by some horseadish cookies today that are even more about the evil! Q: Does this hotpocket contain Lucifer's soul? A: Intersting question, when Lucifer was cast out, was his soul indeed lost or did he take it with him along with several boxes of ball-point pens, sticky pads, staplers and mousepads? The hotpocket may contain polysorbate 80 which some may classify as evil, but there is no way to specifically tell if his soul is in there.