Leroy gives auction info, dating advice and spouts his know-nuttin opinions all over cyberspace. Shi-tsu!!!
OK sorry kids-I know I aint posted another aukshun yet an there's a damn good reason fer it.
I aint got no voice atall, an even 2 weeks after gettin sick! It's startin to come back so I can get back ta work here soon makin y'all laff. Only problem is that now my voice sounds like Harvey fierstein crossed with of Bea Arthur and NOBODY wants ta hear that anyhow checkl back in just a few days anI'll poitcha to muh new aukshun!
Yer buddy,
Leroy
I am thinkin that muh next auckshun awtta be fer part of my sense of humor, because there's some folk out there what ain't got any!
Zip zero zilch nein nyet nicht nada.
Some shitbag somewhere was pissed off enough to kill it 3 differnt times. Spose I could run it agin but they'd just cancel it. Thanks to everbody who liked and supported the home empregnification clinic kit. I aint sure what to do with it, but I'll thinka somethin'. Now I will be back within a week or so with a sorta surprise fer all muh new and old buddies out there. So keep yer panties pullt outta yer crack an give somebody the bird for me.
Yup, thet's right. One less thing for them to piss an moan about- I removed anything that could possibly even be close to a problem. But we done establishified thet they dont likes Leroy, so we gonna see. I put in a big-ass buy it now, so they just git cranky bout thet too.
Thanks fer alla yer letters an support- I freakin' love you guys!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5566499133
Seriously- This shit is so over the top I cant even tell you. It's goin up agin though as soon as I can figure out what they have a problem with other than my popularity. I'll keep ya posted, and it should be up in a few hours
Ya caint keepa good auckshun down, so it's a comin' back tomorra at 12:00 noon pacific time.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5565578046
Please make sure to pass it around to alla yer friends so they know where to find me...
ALSO- If'n ya wanna get Leroy news in yer Aggragemator just hit that leroy link to yer right.... Site FEED-riffic!
OK I have NO clue why them scumbags ended the auction, but it's goin up again real soon. This is just nuts, really. Some shit about live animals or animal parts if you can believe it.... OK Im gonna crack a book or two here, figure out what they object to. My guess is that it's this line and some dumbshit caint read....
You gotta supply the following: will to work, stirrups, 3 yard of terry cloth, pillas, some fishsticks, a bottle of lemon Pledge, three guavas, a spark arrestor, 18 #3 phillips head screw drivers, 41 AAA battrys, a hubcap from a '47 Plymouth, a copy of The New REPUBLIK, one small bust of Alfredo Garcia, and a quart of Valvoline-- nooo make that Quaker State... one tender sucklin goat, a 12Ohm resister and one Garden Weasel.
Goddam- Im so pissed I could spit nails
More soon, includin a timeline---
Leroy
PS Member when the hotpocket got canceled? They didnt have anything on me the 2nd time around......
Dat's right- Ol Leroy has been scheduled for an interview on ebay radio this comin Tuesday at 12:00 PST. I dunno if'n I'll git bumped like when I was sposda appear on the farm report last week on KHIK, but ya never know. You can git to eBay radio by goin to http://www.wsradio.com/ebayradio . The show starts at 11:00am PST, but I think I will be on around 12:00 PST. They usually do a call-in part of the show an ol Leroy may even be answerin some calls if'n we got time.
Happy biddin'!
Yer buddy
Leroy
One minute they's all cute an flingin crap at yer head and the next they bitin' some feller? Mah opinyun of monkeys is changin and I dont think I can ever eat one agin. Too bad really, 'cuase they's nuthin better than a monkey sammich and a nice cold beer on a saturday afternoon. Whats next - are chickins comin after us too?
Q: Leroy, yu dirta dawg, ar yu at it agin. Las time i tuned in you wuz sellin sumpin real unushal. Sum ghost box or sumpin. (althogh I did have my eye on thet there shar head in the bacgrund). Now ya wanna go an mess with Mother Natural. I beleve when the frost is on the punkim thats thers the time for Dicky dunkin. An when the wethers hot and sticky thats the time for dunkin thet Dicky. Ya dont mess with doin whats come natchal. But I still wish ya the best a luk and hope ya gitter done.... ;)
A: I likes ta think Im jus givin natchur a helpin' hand, and makin' somethin good just a little better. Like makeup or Brazilian wax or boob jobs.
Q: Hey Leroy! Thanks for yet another seriously funny auction. It's just a shame that some people just don't get it. Maybe they should be band (or to those of us who done graduated the sixth grade...banned). They should at least pick up a dictionary (and maybe a human biology book) before showcasing their idiocy! I hope the bidder is for real. Stuff this funny is worth the money!
A: OUCH!..... Yer.... mean.....I...Kinda....Like.....it...
Q: Hi Leroy, Not a question, but a comment. I have really enjoyed your previous auctions, but this one tops them all. I think you are very creative, and hilarious. Good luck with your Empregnification kit!!
A: As long as y'all keep comin back an buyin', I spose I'll just keep makin' 'em. Glad ya likes muh stuff!
Q: How can anybody take this serious, talking about the last email post?? They must be veeeerrrry stupid, or lacks "cents" of humour!! Keep it up, I love to laugh, and you got the gift!!
A: Now we gots ta be nice to other folk.... cuz some folk wuz born with no funny gland in they body. Most times these folk grow up to be senators or PETA members and need reglar funny injekshuns. Now my minions... go forth an make funny. AND BID!
Q: you must be one real sicko.....babys are an act from god.....if you need this kit..then you are sick yourself....whomever has bid.....is a real sicko....this should be band
A: Now thet's just not fair- I am just a proposin' that folk take back they overees and testimicators from the know-nuthin medikul establishmint and put 'em in the hands of trained and edjimacated folks like me who is doin god's work. Now what the heck makes ya so all-fired cranky? Tell ya what, call muh secritary an I'll getcha into my home akucpunkture clinik an I'll see if'n I caint hep ya calm down a mite. With mah new patint pendin' akupunkture nail gun, I can fix yer wagon in a hurry! Now one more thing, you might wanna NOT write like Mel Tillis, 'cuz folks aint gonna take ya serious-like. Take me fer instunce, I took me a creative writin class down t' the Louis Lamore technical colledge an it changed muh life. Like insteada all them periods thow in a ; or a , or heck, even a !. Everbody wins!! Anyhow best of luck to ya, yer buddy Leroy PS. Still.... not.... steve....SHI-TSU!
Q: I'd like to have multipull chilrens. Does yo kit com wif a turkey baster? or is it exter?
A: Now thet turkey baster comes with it, but if'n ya wanna git yerself some twins ya better have a double-barreled hoo-hoo or yer gonna strain somethin. Now somethin I haven't mentioned is that fer a few bucks more you can git the Leroy Grease gun if'n ya need to do a LOT of EMPREGNIFYIN' Yer Buddy, Leroy
Q: ARE U CRAZY
A: If bringin' a baby to a chil'less couple is crazy then call me whacko. An if wearin a hat made of tin foil so the aliens can't read muh thawts is crazy, then call me crazy. An if wearin shoes made out of pickles is crazy, then call em crazy, an if dawgs talk to me an tell em to kill somebody is crazy, then call me crazy.
Q: this has to be the most inventive piece of science for human reproduction yet. very creative and funny. good work.... A: Hi Lindsey- I agree holeheartedly...the EMPREGNIFICATOR is Revolushunary. Sort of a womb with a view. I was considering makin an al kayduh explodifier, which would magically targit and explodify al kayduh members from a distance of 32 yards or more, but them eBay fellers said I wasnt aposed to sell real weapons or pizen. THanks fer comin, and check hotpocket.org for updates!
Q: Are you sure yer name's not Steve?? maybe yer cuzzzzz'z name is Steve??? I think you sold one of yer impreggers kits to Michael Jacko cuz there's no way s/he cudda pregnated a waoman! U been hiddin' yer empregnification kit ~ ain't ya ~ dangggg LeRoy yer a holdin' out on us!!! oh and btw ~ kisses from yer other cuz in the north xxxxxxxxxxx
A: I aint Steve, but if'n ya keep up the Kissin, I shore can be! As fur as wacko jacko goes, I never sold it a kit, but they do sell turkey basters at Wal-Mart. PS Still not Steve
Q: HELLLO LEROIZ, ITZ YUR XNTRIKK CUZIN FROM SLIPPERY ROK AGAIN, IMA GESSIN FRUM YUR NEW AWKSHIN, YUR MA DIDN'T TELL YA WHOSE YA REEL DADDIE!!!FRUM WHAT MA TOLDEN US, AZ SHEE MEMBERS, YA MAW WAS ARTIFSHILLY EMPREGNIFICATED BY SPASE ALEEEINS!! SHE TELLED US THAT YOR MA WAS INTERGALLACTIALLY PREMISKUISH!! FIRST TIME SHE WUZ ABDUCKEDEAD, THE UTHER SEVUN TIMES SHE WENT ON A "LONG WEEKEND" WIT UNKL BILLIE!! DONT YA EVR WUNDER WHY YUR MA DRESSED YA UP LIKE CHEWBAKKA FUR HALLOWEEEN EVERY YEER?? YU MESSIN WIT DISS HOME EMPREGNIFICATION IS GONNA END UP LIKE WHEN UNKIL BILLIE WAS DABBLIN' IN THE ACCULT!! MEMBER THE DOLL YUR SUSTER HAD WIT THA RED EIES THAT ETT YOU HAMSTER??!!YUR MA TOLDYA ET RUNNED AWEIGH...EYES SHUR HOPE YA NO WAT YER DOINN... MEMBER WAT HAPPEND THA LAST TIME YER PA..I MEANS UNKIL DEEWANE TRIDE TO EMPREGNATE YER MAZ GOTE, WEN HE WAZ DRUNKIN THE SHINE,.....CUZIN BAAAAAAAHBIE!!!SO GUD LUK ON YER AWKSHIN, AND TELL YER MA WE SAYED HEY!!
A: Dear X- I member them alien tools an they wuz PAINFUL! Plus they tried ta bill muh blue cross for lab work and a STD test to boot! dam aliens. Now we all know thet Maw had her fawlts but ifn it weren't fer her your paw'd never be muh uncledaddy!
Q: No question, Just wanted to tell you that you gave me the best great big laugh today. You are way too funny!!!
A: Shi-Tsu!!! Im real glad ya like muh aukshun! Here's somethin else thet's real funny: Dogs on Linoleum. An monkeys! ( except them angry, little twisted attack chimps- they's no fun atall. )
Q: HAHA!!!! genious
A: I feel it's muh civik duty to repopulate th' worl in mah image an' make sure they's no more Yakboys born to familys that dont want 'em. Strap on them stirrups an Bid!
This is perhaps muh finest hour, ladies and Gennemuns, I give ya
LEROY'S HOME EMPREGNIFICATION CLINIC KIT
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5564534563
